A Thousand Words

No, this post will not have a thousand words. 

I know, the title is a bit misleading. But I was just browsing through our engagement pictures and I think this one sums up mine and Derek's relationship.

Ah, the blissful harmony.  

12:32

Sometimes I just get tired. And then all I want to do is curl up with a blanket by the heater, shut the blinds, and watch a good movie. Well, turn on a good movie and fall asleep until the next morning.  It's in moments like these that I can get really irritated with people, especially when I am helping them learn something they have never done before and they correct me. Excuse me? You have never done anything like this, so who are you to tell me I'm doing it wrong?! Of course I don't really say that to these people, I just think it and get frustrated.

Today is one of those days where I just want to curl up and take a nap. But I know I have a million other things that I could and should be doing. I just don't want to. Can you say, lack of motivation?

Hard Work

It is my personal opinion that those things most worth having are those you have to work the hardest to get. And while this is my personal opinion, I'm pretty sure a lot of people share it as well. 

It's like baking brownies. If you take the time to make sure you measure everything correctly, mix it well, and add lots of sweet, wonderful things then the brownies will be delicious! But if you quickly throw the ingredients together, not taking the time to make sure you mix the sugar, butter, and eggs "until smooth" then the brownies will not be delicious. If you don't take the time and put in the effort to work toward your goals in your life, then 1. you'll never achieve them and 2. what you do achieve will be nothing compared to the joy that you would feel upon reaching your goals.

So if life gets difficult and you feel like you're never going to accomplish anything, just think about how good it's going to feel when you get to the finish line and can sit and relax... you can take a break and enjoy the rewards of your diligence and hard work.

I Love Primary

Since Derek and I have been living with my parents for the past few months, we have been attending the Graham Ward. I love it! I get to go into the primary every Sunday and play piano. Just yesterday during Sharing Time, Sister Smith was telling a story about the pioneers. She asked, "Okay, does anyone know what oxen are?" A little girl raised her hand and said, "They're like a big cow!" 

Another boy raised his hand and said, "An ox is as big as a tornado!" All the kids giggled and one little boy turned to his friend and said excitedly, "Hey, that's like my mom!"

I had to duck my head under the piano and try not to laugh too loud. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that heard it over all the noise, but it was a priceless moment that I had to share. 

What I've Got

Things that have been brought to my attention lately have made me think about what I have. 

1. I have light brown hair.
2. I have a blue eye.
3. I have a green eye.
4. I have size 8 - 8 1/2 feet. (And I have been looking for a pair of taupe colored heels, just in case you were wondering.)
5. I have ten fingers and ten toes. 
6. I have two ears.
7. I have a fake tooth attached to a plastic retainer. 
8. I have a job.
9. I have a family.
10. I have a husband.

There are plenty of things that I have and that list could go on forever. And the majority of people have those things as well.  ...okay, maybe not numbers 2, 3, 4, and 7. It's funny to me that I acknowledge the fact that the list of things I have could go on forever, because my attitude has slowly been turning towards "I have nothing, and I need more." My mood was on a treacherous trail downward. But an opportunity I had the other night to spend time with someone and serve those around us pulled a string and "click!" A light bulb came on.

Gandhi once said: "Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy."  We need to serve! When we are focused on ourselves and on what we do and do not have, there is no joy to be found. But when we serve in a spirit of joy, then the importance of all of the things you once thought were important fade away until their importance is of no importance to you. Did I use that word enough? 

It's important that we serve one another and take time to focus on the needs of those around us. And boys, you might have to work a little harder at this than us girls because Gandhi also said this: "Man can never be a woman's equal in the spirit of selfless service with which nature has endowed her."

Sorry if that seems rude gentleman, no offense intended. I promise.

This post is really scattered and not very focused... but my point is this: if you're ever feeling awful, go out and serve. When you do that, then you've got everything.

I Guess I'll Share...

If any of you have hiked up and then down Comet Falls on Mt. Rainier, then you know what I'm talking about.

If any of you have climbed up a set of stairs with me, then you know what I'm talking about.

If any of you have seen me trip over my own feet while simply walking down the street, you know what I'm talking about.

At the dinner table tonight Morgan, Derek, my dad, and I were having a discussion on clumsiness. I was proclaimed the biggest physical clutz and Morgan was proclaimed as the biggest mental clutz. It pains my heart to admit this, but I was not surprised by my title. I am extremely clumsy.

Example 1:  One day while running up the stairs after arriving home from the long, grueling drive from Provo to Graham, I tripped up the stairs and fell on my face. My whole family heard this: "Step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, BAM!" And I was down for the count.

Example 2:  Another day I was going down the stairs and my foot did not completely land on the step and I skiied down the last five stairs. My father and little sister were witness to this, and will testify of its hilarity. 

Example 3: A few years back when my family was out for another fun-filled day of hiking on Mt. Rainier (I really do love hiking) we chose to hike Comet Falls. This 2 mile hike up the mountain is somewhat challenging; it's steep and full of switchbacks. By the time we got up to the top we were all pretty tired, so we rested for a minute. When going back down the mountain, everyone wanted to "walk behind Taylor" because my poor, tired muscles were giving out on me left and right, causing me to stumble my way down.

Example 4: This one is probably the most embarrassing. The other night I made dinner for the family. We all enjoyed the meal, and as I finished eating I went to stand up and take my plate to the sink. However, I found that for some reason instead of standing up I was somehow slipping/tipping off of my chair and quickly losing my balance. A simple task such as standing up gone awry. My dad saw, I tried to convince him to keep it from Derek, but to no avail.

Now, to make myself feel better about all of these rather embarrassing things I am going to say that it takes a "big and mature person" to admit to all of these things and that it was solely for that reason that I posted this blog. But to be perfectly honest, I just wrote this post because I was bored and was hoping that this would help make you laugh or cheer you up. 

Good luck out there everyone. It's a rough and tricky world.

How to Flip An Egg

This morning I woke up a little earlier than I needed to and got in a quick twenty five minutes on the treadmill before I had to eat a quick breakfast and get ready to go. I walked back to the bedroom to find Derek awake and on his computer. I informed him that I was going downstairs to have breakfast. He asked, "What are you gonna make?" 

"I dunno... I was just gonna have cereal. Do you want me to make something for you?" Derek rarely eats breakfast, so I was excited that he was at least showing interest in the most important meal of the day.

"Nah, I'm okay." 

"I'll make something for you. I really will. What do you want?" 

"Really, I'm okay. I never eat breakfast."

"Okay... but I really will make something for you if you want!" I walked out of the bedroom and headed downstairs get myself some breakfast. 

Not thirty seconds later, Derek was downstairs telling me that he wanted to have an egg and muffin sandwich. So I got out the pan for the egg and plugged in the toaster. He told me to fry the egg, and I said, "Well, how would you do that?"

He looked at me with a blank stare and asked, "What do you mean how do you do that? You cook it, flip it and let it cook on the other side."

"Um... how do you flip an egg?" I asked.

For the next five minutes all I heard was laughter and exclamations of disbelief from my husband that I didn't know how to flip an egg.

I had never flipped an egg before! I always eat my eggs scrambled, thus never needing to ever flip my eggs. I got laughed at a lot this morning, but Derek eventually dragged me over to the stove and made me learn how to flip an egg. His instructions consisted of this:

1. Just wiggle the spatula under there.
2. Get it under there really good, move it around.
3. And then FLIP!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I flipped an egg.

Tired

Have you ever had one of those days where despite the proper amount of sleep you got the night before, you're just tired? Your eyes are so heavy and your body is so tired that crawling under your desk at work and curling up with a blanket sounds extremely appealing. If a bed appeared at my side right now with a big pillow, I'd grab one of these quilts and curl up and go to sleep. But sadly, that won't happen. And sitting here complaining about how tired I am is not going to make time go by any faster.  Though I realize all of this, do you think I'm going to do anything different? 

Of course not. Cuz I'm tired.

Not Much

It is not easy to see someone that you love go through a hardship. Just how it is not easy to resist eating a piece of chocolate cake that's been sitting on the counter staring at you for the past few days. The cake comment may make this seem like a semi-serious blog post, and that was the goal.

It is not easy to get up an hour before you need to just so that you can exercise.

It is not easy to go to work when you feel like your head is going to explode and your body aches with every step.

It is not easy to help someone that you have always seen as an enemy.

It is not easy to face your mistakes.

It is not easy to look at yourself in the mirror and not find flaws.

It is not easy to feel helpless... to feel like there is nothing you can do to comfort someone. It is so difficult to look them in the eye and know that you don't have much to offer. It is not easy to come up with the right words to say. There's not much you can do; except to love them.  It may seem like it's not much, but I think it is just enough so that as you work through the hardship together, you'll learn how to comfort them; how to speak the right words that will make them feel better.

When you feel like there's not much to give, give love. That's something they will always need.

Learning to Appreciate

"Make sure your knees don't go past your toes and try to come down to a 90 degree angle from your knees to your hips." The words of the exercise video I was following along to tonight are so familiar that I could probably speak right along with good ol' Tammy Lee. As I was doing my squats, lunges, and sumos my thoughts drifted to how I have not been doing so well at eating healthily and exercising regularly since I've been so busy with work and Solo & Ensemble... and to the extra few pounds that have found their way to my hips in the last few months. In a wave of flustered and annoyed emotion, I thought, "Why do our bodies have to gain weight? Why can't our bodies just grow and mature to a certain point, and then stay that way for the rest of our lives?" I thought this was an ideal and perfect situation... for about five minutes.

As soon as I started to really think about why God would make it so that our bodies gained weight, something occurred to me. If our bodies, which are gifts from our Heavenly Father, did not gain weight when we ate junk food then how would we ever appreciate and take proper care of them? If there wasn't that consequence to eating incorrectly and not respecting our bodies enough then I can only imagine how poorly all of us would treat our bodies and how nutrient poor all of diets would be. 

A smile spread across my face as I thought about how thankful I was that our bodies gain weight. If not then I would not be exercising to make mine stronger and I would not do my best to eat properly. I am grateful for the body that I have, for the strength that I have, and for the health that I sustain. And coming to this realization gave me even more motivation to do my best to take care of this wonderful gift!

"Alright, now give me three in one!" My mind snaps back to the video and I realize I hate Tammy Lee. My butt is going to hurt tomorrow.

Partly Cloudy

A blank. That is what my mind has been drawing all morning long. I have come to the conclusion that there is a neuron strike going on in my brain right now. A group of neurons have decided that they have been working too hard but to no avail, and so they are not going to do the same job. While they still function enough to keep me breathing, walking, and alive they are not functioning on a high level. It has just been one of those mornings where no matter what you wear, how cute you fix your hair, or how perfect your make up is, the day already seems like a bad one.

It's one of those days where no matter what fun things you have planned for later you still feel like something awful is going to happen. Today is one of those days where time turns to stone and the minutes feel like hours. I am constantly thinking "maybe if I go and get this done, it will feel like a better day." Upon accomplishing certain thing, nothing seems better. If anything it seems worse because my task list is one item shorter meaning that I am closer to useless hours wasted away with nothing to do.

And while this morning seems to be turning into one of those days where nothing seems to cheer you up, I am determined to not let it end that way. I have a fun day planned! 

2:00 pm... I leave work

3:00-5:30pm...Rehearse with Solo & Ensemble students

6:00 pm... Have dinner with Lance and Lauren (so excited for that!)

9:00 pm... Go watch Derek play in his basketball game.

I love being a part of Solo & Ensemble and getting to work with these students. I have not seen Lauren and Lance since they got married in June 2009, so it is going to be so fun to have dinner with them! And I love going to support and watch Derek play basketball. 

But still this cloudy mood is hanging around... urgh. 

It will go away.

The Hunger Games

 I recently finished reading these three books by Suzanne Collins: The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay. They were incredible books that depicted the human race after a destructive world war, leaving a small population left to be governed by the Capitol. Katniss Everdeen captures your interest within the first few pages of the book. The ever enduring love she has for her younger sister Prim is her motivation for all of her actions. It is the driving force within her; to protect her sister from the terror and brutality that is their existence. I fell in love with Peeta Mellark in the first book, and stayed that way through the whole series. 

The deep and vibrant characters push her story along and keep the reader rushing to keep up. I could not put the books down and found myself using my spare time to read more. Some might dislike these books due to the "glorifying of violence" that is contained within the plot. However, I do not think she glorifies violence in any way. She shows that is a necessary part of surviving in their world and then shows the deep and enduring after-effects. 

My personal opinion? These books are captivating and I hope with all the hope I can muster right now that the movies will do them justice. 

I love these books.