A Trial of Faith

The persistent winds of Rexburg were at my back as I walked down the hill, assisting me in making my way quickly. With each step I watched as my worn black high tops landed on the sidewalk. I could feel the impact of each step and the way my backpack would shift on my back. I could feel the wind, smell the rain, hear Claude Debussy's classic Claire De Lune, and taste the piece of Raspberry Lemon-Dew gum that I was chewing. At that moment I appreciated all of these things more than I had any other day. 

My mood was melancholy and my heart reflective. I was engaged to my best friend and I had family close by me; I should have been happy. Yet, in the past six weeks I have come to make many realizations. 

First. 

The adversary will do all that he can to take away any chance at eternal happiness you may have. It was not even two weeks after I got engaged that trials and burdens were quickly dropped on my lap. I had recently made the choice to marry a man worthy to take me to the temple so that we could be sealed for eternity. We were preparing ourselves to take the next important step on our journey toward eternal life. That is something that the adversary does not want for us since he does not get that same opportunity; and he will do everything in his power to stop you. I have known that all my life; but never had I truly understood it with my heart and mind until I experienced it. 

Second.

 Life is precious. Within the last two weeks two people have passed away. One was a close friend from high school. A dear, sweet girl that I played tennis, swam on the swim team, and sang in choir with decided that it was her time to go; that the Lord needed her more there than He did here. The other was the older brother of one of my very close friends from high school. He was driving on Sunday evening and his small sedan was hit head-on by a drunk driver in an F350.  Tragic accidents happen every day around the world; but it never seems real until it happens to someone close to you. My heart grieved for these people and their families; but there was something unique about these two that really pulled at my heart: they were both engaged to be married when they passed. At any previous stage in my life, this would merely have made me sad. But considering my current situation, my heart was broken for these people. The thought of losing the one person you chose to be with forever before you even have a chance... it makes me feel completely empty. 

Third. 

Be grateful and show it. Don't let anyone in your life go without knowing how grateful you are for them and what they do. Don't forget to express thanks to the Lord for each day of your life and all that you've been blessed with. With the world that we live in being in such a state of confusion and unrest, I have decided to be grateful for each little thing that I have.

With these past six weeks and the trials and burdens they have brought with them seeming almost too much to handle I have been exhausted; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But I have also seen some of the biggest blessings come into my life. The biggest of them all being my best friend and fiancé Derek. May seem cheesy, but it's true.
To think that my friends that recently passed left behind fiancé/fiancées of their own makes me all the more grateful to be where I am, in the situation I am, and with the person that I am. 

So as I walked to class with my tired black converse, the wind blowing my hair in my face, and my music playing probably a little too loud, I was grateful. Grateful that I was there and could feel the wind, smell the rain, and hear music. Grateful that I was making my way to meet Derek after his class. 

At that moment, I appreciated all of these things more than I had any other day.