Conflicted

A while ago in Relief Society, a question was asked to the sisters who had children what sacrifices they made in order to be the best mom they could be. A sister raised her hand and said, "Well, you sacrifice your body." At the time I thought, "Oh yeah, that makes sense."

But it didn't really hit me. Until now.

I'm 37 weeks and 1 day along. My feet, ankles, and calves are swollen. My hips and butt have taken on a little something extra. My stomach feels giant and for the first time in my life, my face is starting to get full. 

I was scrolling through all of my pregnancy belly pictures that I've posted, and when I went got back to my 16, 14, 12 week pictures (even my 20 week picture), I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh! That's nothing!" I thought I was huge, that I was "obviously showing." But, I guess your perspective changes. 

To sum everything up: I feel huge.

I want my body back. I want my waist line back. I want to wake up in the morning and not have to sit on the edge of my bed before standing up in order to prevent dizziness. I want to be able to lay on my stomach. I want... I want... I want...

Does wanting all of this make me a terrible mother-to-be? I feel like it does! I feel guilty thinking these things, because then I think of my precious little girl, and how much I already love her, and I know right away in my heart that all this and even more is worth it. It's more than worth it. 

So, I'm conflicted.

Should I feel guilty for wanting my body back when I'm making this sacrifice so that we can have our daughter? I feel like I should. But I just don't know.

Anyways.

20 days left.