15, 900, 54000

I am getting married tomorrow.

It hit me when I sat down to write this post and calculated the time left until my wedding, and I could only do three different measurements of time: hours, minutes, and seconds... because I have less then a day until I will be a married woman.

I feel like a big pitcher filled with water that then has all different varieties of powdered drink flavors dumped in, and shaken up until there is not one, uniform flavor to the water. Of course, since I write so metaphorically, the different powders are the different emotions all mixed up inside of me. But in all reality, overall, I am ready to be married. My brain hurts, my head hurts, and my nose is congested; I'm ready to be done and just be a Mrs. already. 

There are a lot of things that I have to be so grateful for right now.

1. My family all around me.
2. My fiance.
3. The gospel.

I am so grateful to have my entire family surrounding me at this transitional and somewhat scary time of life. I'm very excited and very ready to be a wife, but there's a comfort unlike any other in having the support of your family.

Derek has been the greatest blessing in my life. I am so grateful for him, his kindness, his sense of humor, and how much I can see that he loves me. If my nerves act up and I start to feel like my insides are trying to work their way to the outside, I think about who I am marrying, and suddenly my intestines are once again content to stay on the inside. Which is a fabulous thing.

And last, but definitely not least, I am so grateful for the gospel. The perspective that it gives me and the comfort I receive from that is something I can't get from anywhere else. Having a temple worthy fiance who made it a priority and a goal to be married there is a strength to my own priorities and goals.

I am getting married tomorrow.

And I can't WAIT!!!!

Finding Your Tomorrow

Strange, isn't it? Thinking about trying to "find" tomorrow. Our sense of common logic tells us that tomorrow will come, the sun will rise, and the day will end in a night and that there is nothing we can do about it. It tells us that we don't have to find our tomorrow, but that tomorrow will just come to us despite problems, worries, fears, or hardships. 

In my mind, the idea of tomorrow and the potential it has is what brings happiness in life. I suppose that you could say I didn't have to find my tomorrow; you could say that it came to me. The only hitch was that I had to realize that I had my tomorrow. Many people try to go through life preserving their youth; staying young, vivacious, and solo, thinking that it will be what brings them happiness. But my sense of common logic tells me that it would eventually get very lonely. And that loneliness is what will make you lose that feeling of youth; loneliness is what will age you. The secret to "staying young", according to my own speculation which you don't have to give any credit to, is finding someone to stay young with. 

When I think about tomorrow, it is equivalent with thinking about Derek. He is my tomorrow. My tomorrows are his, and his tomorrows are mine. And until I realized it, my life felt like one long and dreadfully boring today.
But the best part is that once you start your life together, your tomorrows never end.

1.5, 6, 42, 1008

     I cannot believe that I will be married in six weeks. Time has been flying by so far and I am so happy that it has! If there was one thing I did not want to happen it was for time to drag. But good news! It feels like I have only been at school for a few weeks, when in reality it's been ten weeks. Six weeks... man, I remember when I first started counting down the days to my wedding. My first number was 96 days, and I thought that was close! Now, it's only a month and a half away.
Or...
  6 weeks
   or...
    42 days
     or...
      1008 hours
       or...
        60,480 minutes
          or...
            3,628,800 seconds. Okay, so I probably took it a little far when I figured out how many seconds.


     Wedding plans are coming along just great and my life hasn't been too overly stressful, so that has been a relief. I love spending every day with Derek. I know I'm stubborn and probably get under his skin all the time, but he is still patient with me. Even when I try to be mad because I feel for one reason or another like I should be, I don't make it very long. Once I look at him, he's making some kind of goofy face, and I crack a smile. Frustrating isn't it?

     I can't wait to get married. ONLY 6 WEEKS!