The article is called "When Your Mother Says She's Fat" on the website Role Reboot. The author, Kasey Edwards, is writing a letter to her mother about the first time she can remember her mother calling herself fat and how that impacted the way she saw her mother and herself for the rest of her life. Edwards then goes on to say that she doesn't want this same thing to happen to her daughter, so she is going to try and teach her by example and through what she says that a woman's power does not lie solely in her physical beauty.
After reading that article last night, I was excited. Excited because I had more reason and motivation to keep my goal of not saying negative things about myself in front of Reece. As a mother to a beautiful little girl, I want to be the best that I can be so that I can set a good example for her. Growing up, I was always concerned with my body image. The first time I remember being self-conscious about the way I looked was in 6th grade. It was the end of the school year, and as one of the top students in the grade, I got to be in the dunk tank. For that activity I, obviously, had to be in a swimming suit. I remember feeling scared to unwrap my towel from around my waist, knowing that everyone would be looking at me as I climbed into the tank. I also remember seeing other girls that were "skinny" and feeling like if only I could look like them, I wouldn't be so scared. Ever since then, my ideas about how I look have been incredibly negative.
This only continued to get worse as I went into junior high and high school. My self-talk about my body image was always things like, "Ugh, I feel so fat," or "I wish I could have a different body." My freshman year of college, I lost ten pounds. The next year, I lost five more. I was feeling so good about the way I looked. But even then, I would look in the mirror and see "flaws."
I don't want Reece to have these negative thoughts. And I can do my best to make sure that she doesn't by being an example through the things I say and do. I want to show her that her worth is far more than her physical beauty.
I'm in school right now, taking 16 credits, and my life is crazy busy. I don't have much time to sit and play with my daughter, and when we were first getting started with the semester I felt horrible about it. (Still kind of do, sometimes.) But then I was talking with one of my wonderful sister-in-laws one night, and she put it this way: "You're not sacrificing time with her for no reason. You are setting a good example for her. You're showing her the value and importance of an education." As a mother, I know some of the things that I need to do to make sure my daughter will always see beauty in herself, and that starts with never saying things like, "Ugh, I feel so fat" or "I wish I could have a different body," in front of her.
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| To read Sister Dalton's full talk, click on the picture above. |
the former Young Women's General President, gave a talk entitled, "We Are Daughters of Our Heavenly Father." Sister Dalton talks about how we can instill in our daughters the values and virtues that they will need to survive in the world today. She says:
"So how do a mother and a father instill in their daughter the ennobling and eternal truth that she is a daughter of God? How do we help her step out of the world and step into the kingdom of God?
"In a morally desensitizing world, young women need women and
men to “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all
places.” Never before has this been more important than now. Young women need
mothers and mentors who exemplify virtuous womanhood. Mothers, your
relationship with your daughter is of paramount importance, and so is your
example. How you love and honor her father, his priesthood, and his divine role
will be reflected and perhaps amplified in your daughter’s attitudes and behavior.
"What is that part we must all “act well”? The family
proclamation is clear:
"'By divine design, fathers are to preside over their
families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the
necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily
responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred
responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as
equal partners. …"
I am grateful for a husband that I know will always love and support me, and work equally with me in loving and raising our children. I know that as we do our best to teach Reece that she is a precious daughter of our Heavenly Father that it will be the first step to giving her the key to reaching her divine potential. Not just in physical beauty, but in all other aspects as well.
I am nowhere near perfect in trying to keep my thoughts about myself positive. But now that I am a mother, I am more determined than ever to give Reece the opportunity to grow up in a home where she always feels loved, beautiful, and like the daughter of God that she is.
This post has been kind of all over the place. But, my main thought is just that our families, our children especially, should always know how much we love them. They should always be confident in saying that they know that they are children of Heavenly Father. As parents, we need to teach them that. It is through the things we say and do that our children learn from us. Our families are eternal, and if we can keep that in mind, then it makes it a little easier to keep our perspective.
"Give your child a compliment and a hug; say, 'I love you' more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a [child] to be loved."
-President Thomas S. Monson
